Here’s the thing: I never really wanted to own a home. And yet, there we were — my spouse and I — with an offer on the table.
We’d fallen into one of the most common financial traps out there: comparing ourselves to our peers. Keeping up with the Joneses.
The next morning, we woke up early and admitted to each other that we had major doubts. Neither of us felt ready to put down roots, especially since both of our families lived far away. I wanted flexibility — the ability to move without the headache of selling a house. My spouse felt the same.
Then, pure luck. About an hour later, after we’d accepted the idea that we’d have to eat the earnest money, our realtor called. He’d just found out the house had undisclosed water damage. We could back out — and we did.
Holy relief.
That night, we talked about why we’d felt pressured in the first place. The answer was simple: our friends were buying homes, and we felt like it was “what you’re supposed to do” after getting married. But the truth? It didn’t make sense for us — not financially, not logistically, not emotionally.
We couldn’t help but ask ourselves:
Why did their timeline get to shape ours?
Comparing Yourself to Others Robs You of Joy (and Money)
Social norms have a huge influence on how we spend. What we see shapes what we believe is “normal,” and that can quietly dictate our choices — even big ones, like buying a house.
Especially in the age of social media, comparison is everywhere. And it’s subtle. It doesn’t always show up as envy; sometimes it’s that quiet voice asking:
“Shouldn’t I be there by now, too?”
The truth? Timelines aren’t universal. They’re deeply personal. Your financial journey is shaped by where you started, what you’ve been through, what you value, and what you carry — emotionally, financially, even generationally. Some people get help. Some don’t. Some get lucky. Others get hit hard.
Two quotes I come back to often:
“Comparison is the thief of joy.” — Theodore Roosevelt
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson
That’s what this blog — and this post — is about: learning to tell yourself a better story. One rooted in your reality, not someone else’s highlight reel.
A Reframe: You Aren’t Ahead. You Aren’t Behind. You Are Becoming.
It’s easy to treat financial progress like a race — as if you’re either ahead, behind, or on track. But life doesn’t work like that.
Your financial journey isn’t linear. It moves in seasons:
- Seasons of building.
- Seasons of waiting.
- Seasons of healing.
- Seasons where staying afloat is the victory.
Maybe you’ve supported family on a reduced income. Maybe you’ve lost a job. Maybe you’ve just needed space to breathe. That’s not failure — that’s being human.
You’re not late.
You’re not off-track.
You’re becoming — on your own time, in your own way.
When you stop forcing your life to match someone else’s pace, you open up space to define wealth on your own terms. And that definition is worth far more than whatever scoreboard you’ve been measuring yourself against.
Financial Progress Without Pressure
If you’re thinking, “That’s inspiring, but what do I actually do?” — I get it.
Here’s my philosophy:
- Have a big picture (your long-term vision).
- Find quick wins (small steps to keep momentum).
The big picture keeps you grounded. Quick wins give you encouragement along the way. Together, they make financial progress sustainable.
Below are two tools I’ve used for years — one for the big picture, one for those quick wins. Neither involves spreadsheets, and neither requires perfection.
Tool #1: The Financial Order of Operations (MoneyGuy.com)
This is my framework for the big picture (click the link above). It’s a step-by-step order for what to do with your savings, no matter your income:
- Cover small emergencies.
- Get your employer 401(k) match.
- Pay off high-interest debt.
- Build a larger emergency fund.
…and so on.
What I love about it? It evolves with you. Whether you’re saving $50 a month or $500, you move up and down the steps as your life changes. It’s flexible, realistic, and it’s kept me grounded for years.
Tool #2: The 30-Day List (GetRichSlowly.org)
Impulse spending used to be my biggest money leak. The 30-Day List fixed that. I first found it in 2007, and I still use it today (click the link above).
Here’s how it works:
- When you want to buy something non-essential, put it on a list with the date.
- Wait 30 days.
- If you still want it, buy it. If not, you’ve saved money — no guilt, no overthinking.
It’s ridiculously simple, and it works. Over time, it teaches you to pause, reflect, and spend more intentionally. I’ve generally found when I stick to using my 30 day list, I have a little extra left over at the end of each month. These quick wins keep me going.
Move at Your Own Pace (And Know I’m Rooting for You)
I hope this helped you reframe how you think about your financial journey. Neither of these tools is about perfection — they’re about direction. We’ll talk about savings goals and numbers later, but even then, the math will be simple.
And if you’re reading this thinking, “I can’t save a single extra dollar right now,” I see you. I hope this space feels inclusive for you, too. If there’s something you want me to cover to make it more helpful, reach out — I’d love to hear from you.
Wherever you are, here’s my encouragement:
- Reframe your thinking.
- Focus on becoming.
- Move at your own pace.
And above all: I’m rooting for you.
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